I think I need to make an appointment to spend time with myself. I want to sit down during the day and write in my journal. I want a cup of coffee. I want to spend at least an hour pouring my heart out on the pages of my journal. My fireplace will be on and the Sirius radio will be playing old love songs. I don't want to have a place to rush off to. I don't want my phone to ring or friends to drop in. I want to spend one-on-one time with ME!
Remember my coffee breaks/wine breaks at Luke's in Vancouver? Those were at least 3 or 4 times a week. It has been 3 months since I managed to sit, drink and write without interruption in public. Time to find a new place to veg out with my coffee. Maybe Bliss and I will start a new romance . . . Maybe the Rock . . . Maybe McDonalds . . . I will find a place.
Don't get me wrong - I love my life. I love my family and the rush of being around my grandchildren. Knowing I am needed at the office is quite the compliment to my ego. As tiring as adding working to my life right now, it is still good for me. So now I have to make amends with myself. I need to redefine this "new life" and accept the good with the bad. I can no longer pretend to be retired. It is time to rejoin the living and get on with my real life. Consider this a slap on the back of the head.

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