A Whole New Day! May 2025

 Where to start. 13 years later, I am restarting my blog. Welcome back, and welcome in. 

A quick review of 2012 to 2025:

Chris had his transplant April 1, 2011. He was in ICU 3 months, hospital and rehab in Vancouver 11 months in total. It was a rough ride. Bottom line we came home November 4, 2011. In October Tom and Dianne moved us into a different house in Quesnel. I came home to everything unpacked.

In December 2011, I sold my business to Samantha (daughter) and Linnea (friend). I was officially retired. I had been teaching at the College of New Caledonia (accounting and microsoft office and bookkeeping courses). After a year of trying, I had to resign due to burnout.

Chris was in chronic rejection from the day he came home until his next liver failure in 2021. January he was airvac'd to Vancouver. Being post 2020 Covid, the hospital was struggling. He was put in Critical Care rather than ICU. Visits were limited to 1 person/day and only one visit. No food, water, or bathroom breaks were allowed. We struggled.

February 9th, 2021 Chris lost the battle. Many factors were involved, including number 1 - once a donor liver was found there was a 48 hr testing period for Covid, but it was only viable for 24 hours. Not a chance. We found out about that restriction months later. No one advised us. So our hopes and prayers were for naught.

I was devastated. After all the losses we all experienced during 2020 quarantines and fears, this was my last straw. I shut down. For the first year I sank deeper into grief/depression. Near the end of year two, I found a grief counsellor. I had gradually started going out for groceries and appointments, and visiting with my daughter and family. Samantha was my rock. Dianne and Tara supported my by calling regularly. 

In 2023 I met with a phsychiatrist. I started taking a sleeping pill that worked wonders. With adequate sleep and fresh air, I was actually functioning in my life.  

Chris' loss was devastating. This year we are actually talking of finding a long term home for his ashes. It was impossible to even think about it until this year. My family, including Tom my husband, have been so strong. They supported me with no judgement. There is still a huge hole in our hearts for Chris. His quiet support and smile are missed daily. The biggest gifts I have received are from friends we meet on the street who hug me and tell me that they think of Chris, remembering events and things he said or did. I no longer fear he will be forgotten.

So all done the reminiscing. Tom and I are 77 and 72 respectively. Retired, broke, surviving on CPP and OAS. Our savings were lost during Covid when we got scammed by an investment. (Yes, another loss). We are healthy, happy and doing well. Quesnel has been kind to our families. I have no complaints.

From now on my posts will be much shorter and definitely easier to read. May you return, I promise to express joy! God winks! self analysis ideas! and more.

In memory of Chris Sinkinson (1978 - 2021)

BAD DAY

So today was a BAD BAD BAD day!

Sunday night we had a terrible meal out at our favourite restaurant in Quesnel - The River Rock. It was a Sunday night and they got slammed with a table of 18 and then the rest of the dining room AND pub side filled up and they only had one cook and one service person on staff. By the time they got help in, well . . . an hour and a half to get our meal - and our meal was all wrong and bad.

Bottom line - Dianne and I both got to have wheat for supper. Yesterday, I was down and tired, with a sore throat and headache. Today was hell! Severe headache and DEPRESSION to the point that I just wanted to kill myself AND - it made sense to do so. After the first 3 hours, the rest of my symptoms kicked in (vision, dizziness, ears plugged, etc) and I realized that it was all the allergy! Scared me tho'!

How do kids survive when an allergy can make you certain that you are nothing but a handicap to all those around you. Until I got the clarity that it was the allergy, I was convinced that I would never work again.

Scarey! But feeling better tonight - just the hot/cold flashes, sore throat, head ache and plugged ears to deal with. This one was a really scarey and bad one!

Gluten and GLAIDIN ARE MY ENEMIES!

My Quiet Place

I am sitting at my new desk in front of my bedroom window feeling "at peace" with my world this morning. My window is open slightly (had to close it last night because the smoke was so thick I was actually coughing from it) and the lightest breath of air is coming in to refresh my cobwebbed mind. I am looking out on my yard where all our summer "things" are in place waiting for us to come out and play. My window sill has my new bedside water glass and jug in pink crystal with my candles and latest fav CD. The coffee is perking in the breakfast nook and, yes, Tom is snoring behind me. I have a collage of my grandkids in front of me on the desk (soon to be hung on the wall immediately under the window in front of where I sit.) My journals and journaling books are on the desk beside me - beckoning me to take the time to let my brain overflow onto their beautiful pages. There is a package of Victoria Creams Miniatures chocolates from Mary's Gifts (now being called Joyful Expressions) waiting to be opened and sampled. My Angel of Courage from the Willow Tree collection is sitting by my coffee coaster encouraging me to dive into my day.


Can you feel my space? Can you feel my heart overflowing? Can you sense the "rightness" of where I am right now?

I can and it feels glorious!

Life at the speed of "Sinkinson"

So when I thought about being 57 - 58, I pictured quiet evenings on the computer, watching TV, maybe some crocheting and a little card playing. Tom would still be working till 6 or 7pm, but then he would be home for a quick dinner and some TV or reading. I would be bored alot, having to look for things to do to keep busy. I wasn't looking forward to the loneliness and boredom, but the quiet was peaceful.

NOT!

My life has definitely taken a turn for the harried side of life - in a good way of course! I now have 3 grandsons (and their parents) living with us, so the quiet evenings don't start till after bedtime (9ish). The computer is there, but I am far more challenged by my scrapbooking right now. D has me attempting some pretty fantastic layouts - which I love doing. My basement is under construction - thanks to S who is doing all the labour in renovating the storage/furnace room into a marvelous laundry room / scrapbooking room par excellence. On a quiet day the washer only sees 2 or 3 loads of laundry, but it is usually closer to 5 loads. Meals are bountiful full course treats thanks to D and her marvevelous cooking skills for us wheat allergic people!

So is my life better - h_ll YES! How else could I spend time with my 3 grandsons, getting to know who they really are? Where could I find a live in maid, cook and laundress that knows my likes and dislikes so well? I am never lonely! I have new and iteresting things happening around me every day. LIFE IS GOOD!

Hmm wonder what 60 will bring?

What a week!

This is getting to be quite the refrain! But what else can one say, when so very much happens each and every week.

This week has seen my son come out of his drugged and pain controlled state, and rejoining the world. Finally on Wednesday afternoon he surfaced and realized that he had lost almost 2 weeks that he doesn't remember at all. I can only say "Great! Because that pain was toubh to watch and must have been intolerable to experience!"

Friday brought a discussion and reveal of the mess in the furnace room area where the washer has been leaving water all over the floor and soaking through to the crawl space. That is the good news. The bad news is that they used MDF board under the stick on tiles that never stuck. With the moisture the MDF has turned to mush and the tiles . . . well enough said. Now for the 2nd good news, the pressure tank, well-in water line, and the water softener can all be moved to the opposite end of the furnace room (near the furnace) leaving the entire opposite end for better use! (Like a scrapbooking space???) We will have to rethink the placing of the washer and dryer, but it will still open up a great space that is currently unusable.

The new washer and dryer will be termporarily set up today so we can start saving water and power. They are bright red - my dream set. I just can't wait.

S&J's house got the primer in the basement yesterday and the rug removed from the bedroom making it ready for the new hardwood floor to go down. That will be done today.

I got to walk my yard with D & S yesterday and help share my "view" of what is to come. I seriously want to keep it a rather "wild or natural" look for grandchildren and pets to enjoy, rather than a planned and formal "garden". I love the look of space and the surprise of the various sitting areas and viewpoints within the layout. I love the use of the various huge pots overflowing with flowers that I can move about the yard to create a show in any area. That is my style.

So enough brain strolling for now. Off to find the coffee!

Life is just moving too fast!

I am only sitting on the sidelines as my family scurries around me, and yet, I am feeling completely overwhelmed with life right now.

My daughter and family have moved from Calgary and are staying in my house right now (add 5 to the supper table - lol). They are waiting to see if their house will be ready March 1 or later. They may stay for a couple of weeks while they paint and update some of the rooms in the new place before they fill up the rooms.

My second daughter just got back from a free week on Mexico. She is relaxed and happy to be home and has lots to catch up on. Her sister moving the week she got back meant she had to jump into life at full speed after her holiday. But this weekend she gets to have girl time since her fiance is off ice fishing. (Watch out Calgary! The city may never be the same.)

My third daughter and my son are renovating - yes their new house is getting a kitchen & bathroom upgrade and changes to the living space as well. The contractor has been there for 2 weeks and should be done by Friday. Their new appliances arrived and they are awesome. My daughter got the new stove for upstairs and is sending the old (ie. newer glass topped, black, self cleaning one) down for that kitchen. The new one is an induction stove. WOW and double WOW! They cooked on it last night and my son in law has a new mistress - the new stove!!! In their downtime, my third daughter and hubby are dividing one of the huge bedrooms upstairs into 2 sleeping rooms for their 2 oldest girls. With more drywall and some mudding it should be ready to paint next week. (That one they are doing themselves with a little help from their friends.)

My son is staying with us in the suite in our basement while we have him on painkillers and anti-inflamatories. He sneezed and collapsed on Saturday and pulled muscles in his back. After a shot of morphine at the hospital Saturday, we have him on meds every 4 hours added to his meds for the ulcerative colitis and schlerosing cholingitis and the calcium and Vitamin D for his osteoporosis. Yes, I do have a spreadsheet to track his meds!

So I don't have time to have a life - LOL! Just standing on the sidelines and watching it go by is about all I can handle right now. Oh yea - I was home sick last week with muscle spasms in my back and Saturday was my first good day. I am now home with my son this week. Go Office Staff! Go!

Bad week

Since last Saturday (Feb 13), I have been suffering with severe back spasms. I managed to work on one day (Monday) and teach Tuesday and Thursday night, but that is the best I could do. My worst day was Thursday when I went to the emergency and got a prescription for pain/muscle spasms. I saw the Dr. on Wednesday and had a locum for my regular Dr. He was useless. His response to my back spasms was that I should exercise more. RIGHT! I could hardly take a breath and he sent me home to take it easy. My blood pressure went up due to the pain so they couldn't give me a shot to releave the spasms. What a waste of a week.

But on the good side, I did get a week off before My Oldest Baby, Spouse and the boys arrive on Monday or Tuesday. Then life will speed up significantly. Hubby left this morning to take a trailer down with his truck to drive back on Sunday with a load. He isn't feeling very good about the whole thing - he says he is worried about me, but I think he is just tired. Hopefully the drive will go well.

My mind is whirling with ideas for scrapbooking with My Oldest Baby. I honestly can't wait to have her here. Having someone that is so very encouraging is amazing. I hope I can keep up with everyone and not disappoint people.

Dman is such a good young man - sensitive and caring. He needs to gain some self assurance and know that he is respected. I hope I can help with that. I haven't had the opportunity to follow his growth since he was 3 or 4 years old - it is fascinating to see what a good person he has become.

The Unleashed is going to be a challenge. He is bright and fast, but emotionally he doesn't know what to do with those emotions. He tends to shut down and withdraw. I hope he can find a "safe place" with his grandma and grandpa. A place where he is loved and cared for as he is without expectations.

My Oldest Baby's Baby is young and maleable. He wants to be older, but tends to fall back on baby behaviour to get attention and power. Hmmm - calm and submissive is the goal here. I hope I can help with that.

Such expectations I have of myself. I hope I can live up to most of them.

Stop the spinning . . .

So much has happened today that it is hard to put it down in words. To summarize:
Shane met with the Trades rep from the province today and was told that he should challenge both year 1 and 2 of the elctrician's exams. If those go well, and he can get a letter of reference from Bruce (his former boss), he can challenge year 3 of the Electrician's exams. That would only leave the 4th year that he would have to put in time and studies before qualifying as a Journeyman Electrician. WOW!

That is even better than we had hoped for. It is just amazing what doors are opening for him right now. The transfer of his EI is a simple matter of changing addresses and he is ok to meet with local EI counsellors that appear to be making themselves available immediately instead of the 2 week delay we were warned about. The College is offering study materials for the Electricians course and the Trade rep offered to send him the practice exams from Calgary to use to prep for the exams.

Ok so all that in one day. I feel as if my head is spinning - I can't even imagine how Shane is feeling. Add this to the fact that the boys are registered for school and Roarke has been registered to join the Chess club to challenge his "scientific" mind. Demetris attended his first Cadet's meet tonight already. They have a home to move into (small, a duplex) and all they have to do is pay for the utilities, no rent.

Dianne is busy working on 3 different websites, all for pay! She has a brochure to work on and other leads already. An old friend has offered her $100/mon to write blogs 2/week. She is also looking for website development. A monthly magazine is available that is looking for submissions - she may be able to start selling memberships on a celiac website support. and again - Wow!

My life seems so mundane and yet my heart is just fluttering with excitement. I will have my oldest daughter and her family moving home! HOME! to Quesnel!!! OMG! It is amazing to me. I have always had faith that when something is supposed to happen everything falls into place to make it so. That certainly seems to be the case here.

Wow - and Wow!