A Special "Moment in Time"

At the end of a dreadful week full of ups, downs and sideways moves, an escape to shop at a Winners/Homesense store in downtown Vancouver, rounded off with a solitary dinner at Milestones . . . was awesome!

My gluten free meal included:
Jackson Triggs white chardonay wine (glass)
Tomato Basil Brown Rice Spaghettini - Fresh grape tomatoes sauteed in olive oil, with plenty of fresh spinach,basil and garlic. Tossed with brown rice spaghettini noodles and topped with goat cheese (subsituted parmesan for the goat cheese.)
Chocolate Ganache Torte - Crushed pecan pastry with chocolate filling and a carmel sauce.
Black coffee.

All around me were laughing, happy people. Drinking, eating and sharing good times. A huge party was gathering in the back room, directly ahead of my table. There were at least 8 ladies who arrived from work - all dressed up and professional, then the men started to come in and drinks started to flow. It was all very uptownish!

The rain was pouring down outside and the traffic was light. The city was moving all around me and I felt great! This was definitely one of those perfect moments when all the stars were aligned and things couldn't be better.

I even called Dianne to share my moment and probably made her feel awful - but I was almost euphoric. Just sit back and let the vibes come your way . . .

THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK

THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK – how to thrive in the face of adversity, setbacks and losses
by Karen Salmansohn
I found this book in the gift shop at the Rockyview General Hospital during Chris’ recent visit. It feels like it has a vinyl cover and there are simple, childlike pages throughout. The message, however, is anything but childlike.
“In life you always have a choice. 1. Be weak 2. Be Strong.”
I have had lots of time/experiences during the last two weeks to practice this. The worry and constant changes for Chris at the hospital have provided the trauma to test this statement. She is right. When I was feeling overwhelmed and alone, it was easier to be weak and let the depression run over me. But if I thought about the option of being weak or strong, when I chose the strong it had the power to move me to take action – be it get water for Chris, go for a coffee, look out into the world, not inwards. I had a few breakdowns where Eeyore took over and the “Oh woe is me!” groaned out of my mouth. But, then I laughed it off and I was fine.
This is just one of the gems of wisdom in this book of 75 tips to bouncing back. I can’t wait to read them all!

No more "woe is me"

Sometimes having too much time on your hands with nothing to do is not all it’s cracked up to be. With Chris in the hospital and me there from 7:30 am to 5pm every day – you would think I would have lots of time to write in my blog, read my romance novels, study my self help magazines, and generally do anything I want to do. So, why when I finally have all the time in the world to do anything I want, do I find myself so apathetic? (That may not be the right word, but it is somewhere between “lost my mojo” and “sick and tired”.)

So – I begin! No more sitting without doing something. I am writing my blog (sans internet) and getting ready to share some of the neat books and information I have found during this visit.

Having lots of time, means lots of “oh, woe is me” opportunities. I don’t like that part of my nature and I am going to try to get rid of it – starting now.

I give in!

It has been 2 weeks and I have told myself that I am suffering from allergies. Enough! I admit it! I have a terrible sinus cold.

The symptoms are so similar to my gluten allergy, that it is sometimes hard to tell when it is a cold or not. But, after this long with no breaks and a terrible sinus headache . . . ok. I will take a decongestant with my usual antihistamine tonight. Tylenol is looking good too. Maybe I will be able to sleep it off??

Stress or Quiet Time

With Chris in Rockyview General Hospital in Calgary, I get to spend my day quietly sitting by his bed. I can read. I can watch his TV. I get to talk to him and the nursing staff and Doctors. This is a quiet, non-demanding time. So why is it so stressful!

Yes, there is concern about Chris' health. But, really, he is getting better care than I could give him at home. His meals are regular (if a little small). His pain is being monitored and drugs are available if required. All his bodily needs are being met. The staff discuss his condition with him and he is alert and responsive. So why did I feel like I had been ran over by a truck when I got home last night at 7pm?

Yes, we had a different day - MAU to a Ward move, CT scan, new Doctors etc. But overall, it was a good day. I had tons of phone calls from work, clients, family. Not much different from a day in Quesnel.

Today - I am going to try to relax more - let things happen and not fuss or worry. I am going to be positive and hopeful that these Doctors will find something that has been missed - and can be helped.

There - that is my plan . . .

2011 - Resolution or Evolution

One of the blogs I follow suggested that one not make resolutions for the new year, but, rather, make evolution promises. Hmmm - sounded very lofty and promising. But the more I thought about it the more offended I became.

I consider myself to be fairly evolved already. I don't feel the need to "evolve" further. I don't see change and growth as necessarily evolution. Hmmm . . . again it comes down to symantics and definitions.

I feel ready to change and grow. I don't feel I need to become something else or leave behind anything. I want to ADD TO what I am, what I think, what I do.

Since it is already January 4th - I feel behind already! LOL!

So begins 2011.